DEATH BATTLE: Lex Luthor VS David Xanatos

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input.username: Joe

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sv_change.password: Joe ....

password: ********

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*quickly jumps to other seat as fellow announcer walks in*

Joe: FINALLY! Welcome back, everyone, to DEATH BATTLE! Finally, we- wait... what's with my username?

Noob: Oh, Joe is just easier to spell over and over, and isn't hated by Spell Check.

Joe: Lazy ass. Oh, here's the 12 pack of crunchy tacos and the pop corn, did you bring the Diet Mountain- Do you smell something?

Noob: I hear Molestia invaded earlier, took forever to clean, still can't get the smell out of the seats. I rented this thing out from the Death Battle guild, you know.

Joe: That Bizarro Pony Princess? Fucking bronies and their horse fetishes. So, how much do they charge you?

Noob: Oh, I got a real great deal from this Gentleman guy, unlimited access as long as I gave him the bottoms of my shoes.

Joe: You mean your soul?

Noob: Nope, *putting bare feet on the dashboard* typo in the contract. Even demonic deities can be bitten in the ass by their own Faustian Pacts. I handed him my shoes and I get the booth for a couple of matches.

Joe: How'd that typo get there?

Noob: He let his cousin type it up, I think she doesn't like him.

Joe: Fine, let's just get st- did you change my password too?

Noob: Yep, thought I'd handle control of this one solo, while you try decrypting my ingenious password.

Joe: YOU MOTHER F-



*Metropolis: LexCorp Helipad*

The helicopter descended onto the platform. A tanned, dark haired man in a black suit exited the craft, accompanied by blonde man with one arm in a cast, and a beautiful woman with fiery hair and a blue fox tattoo, carrying a little baby. They were greeted by a firm built bald man and his driver.

"Welcome, Mr. Xanatos. I understand this is your first visit to Metropolis." said the bald man, grasping Xanatos's hand.

"Please, Lex, call me David. And yes, it is. I figured it was high time I visited the "City of Tomorrow". I am especially eager to meet this Superman. Is it true he's nearly invincible?"

Lex: The alien? Hardly. His composition is merely affected by the solar radiation of a yellow star, like our sun. He is still very vulnerable to things like the radiation of a red giant, things irradiated by a red giant, and magic. To be honest, though, I was hoping we could avoid that subject. We have far more important matters to discuss, like our merger.

Xanatos: Now, now, Lex. Nothing's concrete yet. I'd like to visit the city, talk to its people. Get a feel for the community you helped build.

They let go hands, each one rubbing from the intense squeezing of a test. Xanatos was testing Luthor by giving him as firm a handshake as possible, and Lex didn't back down. Damn near broke Xanatos's wrist.

Once they were out of ear shot, Lex turned to Mercy.

Lex: If it's true what our intel suggests, and he plans on stealing company secrets, then we have to strike first.

Mercy: Lex, he's not Superman or Brainiac. He's just an industrialist, like you.

Lex: That is exactly what I'm afraid of.

*LexCorp Lobby*

Xanatos: Owen, get the exo-suit ready. If my colleague is as intelligent and paranoid as his file says, he will already have figured out our true purpose here.

Owen: Yes sir, but, if I may, why the pleasantries?

Xanatos: We each had to be sure the other won't back down.

Xanatos then turned to his wife, "Take Alex and make sure to stay hidden."

Fox kissed him, "Be careful."

Xanatos saw a second helicopter descending, loaded with the steel & iron clan robots as well as his suits and some extra toys, "I always am." he smirked.

---

Four large quadrupedal robots crashed onto the street. They were followed by Luthor in green and purple power armor. The camera like heads of T-7's spun around searching for the Xanatos family. Crowds began to gather as the cylindrical droids started to spread out. Then, out of the sky, a grey and black metal gargoyle came and slashed clean through one with its wings. The other three T-7's quickly dispatched it, but seven more came down from the sky, escorted by an eighth with red instead of black trim.

The Steel Clan and Iron Clan androids formed into strict units and took to fighting the T-7 drones. The last one hovered over the battle field waiting for Lex. Luthor had been anticipating an attack, but nothing so soon, and certainly nothing this large scale. Xanatos was prepared for him. Luthor also took note of the allegedly ill-programmed Clans droids managing to dodge and deflect every attack launched at them, just as well as the T-7's.

"Mercy" Lex growled into his com set, flying into the air and battling the robots, "Xanatos shouldn't have this advanced of artificial intelligence. They are probably being controlled from somewhere, track it down."

Luthor heard the pressing of buttons, and a pinging, "Tracking.... Rooftop of LexCorp, the Helipad, I'll take care of it.". Lex heard the sound of a clip being loaded into a sub-machine gun before Mercy signed off.

Luthor looked skyward, at the red gargoyle, hovering above him as if IT owned Metropolis. It had to be Xanatos. Only he would color his armor different to stand out, thought Luthor as if he wouldn't do the exact same thing.

The two charged each other. Each moving at mach speed. Luthor fired a volley of laser blasts, Xanatos dodged them with his more aerodynamic armor, also getting a few cheap shots in with his arm cannon. They met in melee combat. Claw against Energy blade. For what Lex had in strength, Xanatos matched in speed.

They broke apart from the sparring, gasping. Each had minor abrasion on their armor, but nothing too damaging. Xanatos came in for another blow for the gut, but then changed course at the last possible second, aiming for Luthor's exposed head.

Just as Lex predicted.

The world's greatest criminal grabbed Xanatos by the arms, and began pulling. Xanatos cried out in pain as Lex pulled harder and harder. The metal began to groan from tremendous pressure until...

SHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP

In an indescribably horrible sound of metal ripping apart, Lex tore one of Xanatos's arms off, the other dangling by some wires-

WIRES!?!?!? Luthor double take. The "flesh" underneath the power armor was nothing more than silicon rubber with more wires and metal underneath.

He stood for a few seconds, dumbfounded, the arms still in his vice-like grip, until one of the Iron Clan broke off from fighting the Drones, and plowed into Lex at the speed of sound.

---

Mercy stealthily exited the door onto the helipad. She saw Xanatos's helicopter, with a bunch of military grade weapons in it. Rocket launchers, sniper rifles, some high powered lasers, enough to reduce the building to rubble. She turned looked just beyond it and saw the blonde assistant, pistol drawn, watching the battle below, there appeared to be some form of laptop next to him. The control mechanism for the droids, no doubt. She snuck up and silently clubbed him with her gun. She saw the the control pad, and thought she'd turn the tables. She started to input the command to kill Xanatos but was suddenly and rather rudely interrupted by a flying tackle.

Fox had stepped away from the control long enough to prepare the extra fire power, when she saw the door open. She hid in the helicopter, and climbed on top of it as Mercy took out Owen, then she pounced. It was so powerful, she knocked Mercy's gun away and sent them careening, barely avoiding falling off the edge. They jumped back up, and began fighting in the most vicious melee combat either ever experienced.  

Joe: Oh yeah, I can fap to this.

Noob: Not in the booth! Edge just cleaned it.

Joe: Who cares, it's a rental.

Noob: Good point. Just... not while I'm here.

After a lucky blow to the face knocked the red head off balance, Mercy threw Fox into the helicopter, and kicked her right in the stomach with force that could knock back superman. The fiery vixen cried out and crumpled to the ground. Mercy saw Fox squirm in pain, and was impressed, given the dent she left in the chopper. Anyone else would have at least broke their spine, but Fox's legs still moved as she took the fetal position before slipping into unconsciousness from the pain.

The bone shattering kick awoke something in the chopper. It started to cry. After confirming Fox was unconscious, Mercy checked it out. She saw Xanatos's brat tucked away in the cockpit. She got on her mic with Luthor, fighting the real Xanatos in his Cold Iron Armor, "Lex, I took out the wife and found the kid. What should I do with him?"

Lex smiled, realizing his chance.

"WELL, Xanatos, it looks like you have a choice: fight me, or rescue your son. What will it be?" Then, whispering into the mic, "kill it".

Xanatos paused for a brief moment, as a thousand scenarios went through his mind, some too disturbing to consider.

He broke off at breakneck speed for the helipad, as Mercy approached the ledge to drop the squirt. Luthor aimed his laser cannon at Xanatos, who wasn't even attempting to serpentine, and fired.

Right as Mercy dropped the baby, Xanatos did a 90 degree turn up, causing Luthor's beam to miss him and hit Mercy square in the chest, if the intense laser hadn't killed her, being embedded into the helicopter from sheer force would have.

Noob: I never did get that, lasers are concentrated light, how could they-

Joe: A wizard did it, now SHUT UP!

Lex was impressed, sacrificing the babe to save himself and take out the lackey; Xanatos was smarter than he thought.

He then looked down and saw the baby flying towards its father. Of course, little Alex was being assisted by a fairy trickster with silver hair, but still.

The trickster's and Xanatos's eyes met, and they had a silent conversation.

"Letting your own son drop off a sky scraper; pretty damn cold" said Puck's unusually cynical eyes.

"I knew you'd catch him. He's your student, after all" retorted Xanatos's smirk which Puck could just feel through the helmet, in spite of it bearing Goliath's stoic visage.

Puck rolled his eyes and teleported out with Alex.

Joe: *tosses popcorn* DAMN! That was a risky move!

Noob: And a brilliant interception. Let's watch the replay.

Puck, as Owen, knew Mercy was sneaking up on him, but decided to play along and pretended to be unconscious. Then, when Fox and Graves started fighting, Puck went invisible and tried to get a better view of the fight. That changed when he heard Alex start to cry. He was sure that Xanatos would save him, though. Xanatos nearly gave his own life protecting his son from Oberon, after all.

Then Mercy approached the edge with the baby. Any second now, thought Puck, believing that maybe Xanatos just hadn't seen Mercy. Luthor made his ultimatum, now Xanatos definitely knew. Xanatos went for Mercy as Luthor fired his cannons. UH OH! Thought the fairy.

He teleported to the baby just as he was dropped. If Puck let Oberon's step-grandchild die, he'd be up the creek for sure! Plus... Puck was never overly fond of people dying... especially ones he himself was fond of, loathe as he was to admit it.

He looked up, seeing Xanatos heading the opposite direction, and Mercy being nearly incinerated by the laser blast. Bastard knew I'd do it! thought Puck, more than a tad peeved.

Luthor felt like the situation was veering out of his control. He didn't like it. He didn't like that there was a piece on the board he wasn't aware of. He also didn't like being fooled by a double. He especially didn't like the Iron Clan Armor which matched his armor's strength and durability. He saw the laptop, still on the rooftop, and instantly formed a new strategy; the situation was now back in his control. During Xanatos's brief glance at Puck, Luthor slipped behind a building, using Metropolis's massive skyline to his advantage. He knew the entire city like the back of his hand.

Xanatos lost himself for second after seeing his son nearly fall to his death. He almost entirely gave in, especially when his wandering eyes spotted Fox's unconscious body, but he couldn't give up. He quickly regained himself, but remained staring at where his wife lay, feigning losing any interest in the battle, but ready for any attack. When he didn't hear Luthor's suit coming toward him, he became worried. An explosion several blocks over made him realize that Lex was up to something. He pursued the noise. When he got there, he saw that it was just a T-7. Luthor had commanded it to attack a random building! It turned and started firing on him, forcing him to duck and weave. The other two quickly joined in, forcing him to quickly alternate strategies. How was that possible? Even with limited AI, the Clans are still faster and have better range than the drones!

Xanatos put his rockets on max and flew right through the crowd of T-7's. Their guns and lasers crossed, and they all exploded in the crossfire. And to think I actually wanted to steal that programming, thought Xanatos, shaking his head. His victory was cut short by maniacal laughter, amplified to deafening levels, as if the skies themselves shook with Lex's cruelty and arrogance.

"Very nice stunt, Xanatos, but I'm afraid you're about to crash and burn!"

Luthor appeared out of the sky like a god descending from Olympus, cloaked in his force field. The seven Clan Droids flanked him like a vanguard. In his hands, he held the control laptop. Luthor's laughter was boisterous and gave an air of assured victory, as if he suddenly had all the cards.

The Clans attacked, but Xanatos knew their every move, he designed them, after all, plus there was a second's delay between a console command and the command being carried out. When they all attacked at once, however, was a different story.

They all ganged up on him, but he took them out one by one, blasts, and scratches,gouges, shreds, and explosions. When he was done, his armor was anything but, entire section having been stripped bare, down to the exoskeleton, even his face plate was so mangled from a raking talon, that he was forced to remove his helmet. His blasters were also down. If it weren't for the slight delay between command and attack, he'd be dead. All he had were his rocket wings, his claws, and- THAT'S IT!

"Luthor, you're a fool. I designed the Iron and Steel Clans myself, you don't think I could destroy them with ease, even with a "brilliant mastermind" like you controlling them?" Xanatos taunted his foe.

Lex seemed oddly cool. "Just so you know, I'm going have a lot of fun tracking your son down and dissecting him. I heard from a very reliable source that he's part god, any truth to that.

The look of horror on Xanatos's face made it apparent Lex was correct.

Joe: I wonder who told him that.

Noob: *smirking* Yeah, me too.

Xanatos's fear for his son's life was soon replaced with a burning hatred. He charged.

Lex just floated there, apparently safe in his bubble of hard light.

Xanatos grappled the force field, and unleashed the suit's electrical deffense system, overloading the shield generator. Xanatos's razors dove to Lex's meaty neck for the kill.

The sickening noise of punctured tissue and bone penetrated Luthor's ear. He smiled.

The claws never met their mark. Xanatos found himself impaled on a Kryptonite energy spike. Xanatos's armor was so destroyed, it couldn't protect him from Luthor's close quarters weaponry. He slumped. Lex grabbed him and disengaged the spikes. Blood poured from the chest wound. Xanatos was dead, and they both knew it.

Luthor dropped him on the pavement in front of LexCorp. Police began arriving. He'd just tell them it was corporate espionage or terrorism.

Xanatos's last image was Lex's smug face... BANG

And Lex's last image was Xanatos's dead body, then the villain's head exploded. His form collapsed on his fallen foe.

Noob: *SPITS DIET DEW ON SCREEN* THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!?!?!

Joe: CHECK THE CAMERAS! CHECK THE CAMERAS!

*Two minutes earlier*

Fox woke up, sore all over, her stomach and ribs especially. Owen was standing over her with Alex.

Fox: Did we win?

Owen looked at her with sad and somber eyes. Fox instantly knew the answer.

She looked out onto the streets and saw Luthor, landing on the street with Xanatos in his arms, bleeding profusely. No doctor could save him now.

Fox's anger boiled inside her. A thousand scenarios ran through her mind on how to take revenge, but seeing that exposed head made her pick the quickest and most obvious one.

She grabbed a sniper rifle from the helicopter.

She waited till she was sure David was at least on the ground, then she put one right in that shiny bald head.

K.O.!

Noob: A TIE! A FUCKING TIE! I really wanted Xanatos to win but... A TIE!

Joe: It all goes back to Xanatos's greatest strength and Luthor's greatest weakness: Xanatos knew that as long as Fox and Alex were OK, he'd win, even if he died. Logically speaking, there was no way Xanatos could match up physically to Luthor, so he knew he would probably die. However, Luthor's overconfidence caused him to completely forget about Fox who'd been knocked unconscious early on, and Fox, as well as being the bastard daughter of a god queen, is as tactically brilliant as her husband, and a superior fighter, so he was boned either way, especially after getting cocky and letting his guard down. And come on, what do you expect when you don't wear a freaking helmet?

Noob: Oh, hey, that reminds me, did you figure out your password?

Joe: Yes, unfortunately. God, you are such a child.

Xanatos:
+More Cunning
+Equally intelligent wife
-Let his emotions get in the way

Luthor:
+More tech savvy
+Better equipment
-Overconfident

Epilogue

The eldritch god formally known as the Gentleman manifested in the darkened booth to ready it for the next Death Battle. He flicked on the lights, and dropped a cheap pair of sneakers in shock.

The place was a complete mess. Popcorn all over the floor, taco bell wrappers littering the dashboard, which now smelled like feet, and soda covering the screens.

The Gentleman gripped his pimp cane in seething rage. He'd get Noob, and his little brother too, if it was the last thing he'd ever do!